I have been stalking other people's blogs, mostly the ones about infertility. I love reading people's old post, as they are going through the same thing as I am today, but only 3-4 years ago. Today I poas'ed and received the most familiar stark white result. BFN. This is what inspired by webpage title. I then, like all other gals who are in the same boat as me, go right ahead and googled "8dp3dt- BFN" and read a whole bunch of forums and blogs. When I read those blogs, I always go back to the home page, and about 95% of this blogs, the most recent posts would be of their wonderful babies, or pregnancy pictures. I love that, it reassures me that there is a happy ending to all of this. Maybe it's just not my turn yet. It also motivates me to start a blog, so that I can document my trouble times and also I know that somewhere in the future for me, there will be posts about me getting that infamous BFP and enjoying the wonders of pregnancy and finally being a mom.
Ok- back to 8dp3dt- Could it still be a little early to test? Yes, probably and no probably. This is my first IVF attempt. I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2010 when I had my first lap to remove a large chocolate cyst (10cm to be exact). At that time, I never understood how this diagnosis would affect me. But almost 4 years later, it has come back to haunt me with a vengeance. I think accepted the fact pretty easily that it would take extra help in order for me and my husband to get pregnant. I was a good girl, and didn't waste much time as soon as my specialist told me that I need to attend a fertility clinic as he thought the only way I would ever get pregnant would be through IVF. Under the recommendation of my RE, I went through one unmedicated IUI cycle and one clomid/IUI cycle to no avail. He then suggested I go straight to IVF as he felt that the IUI cycle wouldn't be much use anyways. (WTF did you suggest IUI in the first place?) Anyways, at our IVF consultation, my RE reassured me that at my young age of (31) and with a good AMH number, I would have no problem with growing a good number of eggs. He even said that IVF is the best choice as we would be able to "bypass" my endometriosis. He didn't recommend a lap to remove my existing endometrosis (it's all over my ovaries) as he said it would not have any affect on the success rate of the IVF.
So fine- we went along, just as he said. My first IVF cycle is what I would call a disaster. I had a great number of follicles growing (14+) but at my egg retrieval, I only had 5 eggs retrieved, on top of that only 1 mature and 4 were to immature to even attempt fertilization. We ended up with a 9-cell grade 2 embryo which we transferred on day 3. I think anyone would kind of see that as a disappointment. So maybe it was my endometriosis that is the cause of this disappointment, but certainly my RE did not set the right expectations. I will have my WTF appointment with him tomorrow. I hope he has the answers to all my gazillion questions.
Am I still hopeful about this cycle? I will not give up on my little embryo... but certainly it is important to have a back up plan (which is to attempt IVF #2) but this is dependent on how well my WTF appointment goes tomorrow.
I have plans to poas tomorrow before the appointment, so that if I continue to see that familiar stark white stick, I have more motivation to be more firm with my RE tomorrow and get him on the same page as my husband and I. Any other result on that stick would be a welcomed bonus.
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